A Tale of Two Withdrawals

Date: January 17, 2020
Image: a Windows Maps render of Central Park Ave @ East Hartsdale Ave, served by the Bee-Line 20/21/28 and the focal point of our story.


I made a number of inroads in Yonkers in an attempt to make new friends. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of not "keeping the worlds separate" when it came to how I interacted with those friends. As I would later find out, those walls are important, because it allows us to get to know someone without being confronted by someone else's biased view of this person. I followed this advice when I met both [#a3l58e] and [#a0o54g] for the first time, and as I previously mentioned, was the best choice I ever made and played a huge role in my personal growth.

I first met [#p3m68z] at the Sterling Center when I still resided in Nodine Hill. We had started a conversation together while I was waiting for my appointment with [#a2j71s]. She raised a technical question and I attempted to answer it. At this point in time, I had not put enough effort into de-jargonizing my advice. She went a long way to remind me of that. We eventually exchanged contact information and started talking over the phone at length. I had discovered that she, too, had withdrawn from her medication, and like me, her family was disapproving of it. However, she did not have the support of her psychiatrist, which created complications for her that caused her a lot of grief, which I tried to help her navigate through.

Eventually, I started inviting her to the barbecues that we would hold in Valhalla, and that led her to crossing paths with [#a3r64c], someone I had once trusted at the time. Shortly after that, she became comfortable enough to invite me to her condo in Hartsdale, where I would address any technical concerns, or even help her find items she gave up on finding. It was a great way for me to improve my communication skills and sharpen my mind (by playing a real-life Where's Waldo with whatever was missing). I listened to her concerns, helped her navigate through minor bureaucratic messes, and eventually passed my Galaxy S Relay on to her (she wanted a phone that had better battery life) after obtaining my m8.

The breakdown in trust centered on family-related issues, and occurred around the same time that my breakdowns with family had begun. This is where our difference in solutions and familial trust strained our friendship. She was at the financial mercy of her mother, who paid the needed property taxes for her condo and had withheld the money to keep her vehicle registration in order (it had been grounded in the garage as late as February 16, 2015), so she sought out public transit advice (since I was savvier) as a way to get around. Her experience is why I might sympathize with car owners who feel deprioritized when public transit gets more attention than they do.

Out of concern for this dynamic, I eventually shared my concerns with her counselor (who I crossed paths with almost every day at the Sterling Center). This struck a nerve, and she distanced herself from me overnight. Around the same time I was in SUNY Westchester answering for the profanity-laced email I sent to [#a3r62s], I received a restricted call by someone claiming to be the Greenburgh Sheriff, asking that I not associate with [#p3m68z] anymore. I complied with that request by blocking her DID, removing her from my Trend Micro license kit, and 500'd all her emails. I have since stopped accepting Restricted calls. In a cruel twist, not having to focus on her allowed me the capacity to deal with my own issues, which were just getting started.

- 🚏

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